Sunday, February 5, 2012

"Spring" Into Action

"Spring has sprung." Springs arrival and its sense of renewal have been marked in many ways over the millenniums. Since the Spring Equinox represents new life and growth, this is the perfect holiday for planting seeds of your own on the path of your life. It is this time of the season the wheel of the year turns to the bringing forth the "crops" we sow. In olden times, it was the time of fertility in all things. Harvest, ideas, love, family, etc. A time to experience the efforts we work so hard to achieve come into full bloom. Like a beautiful flower or ripe vegetation, our creative endeavors can come full circle as well.

It has been difficult for me to do all the mentioned above. I've been challenged as of late. Some things have blocked me and some focus has not been clear. Recently, I had to face a challenging family situation that truly made me realize soberly that we are all responsible for our journeys and choices. I needed to spend some time time re-grouping and using some very helpful tools I am honored to have received to overcome this. I used to think that the "ultimate" was so simple. We all had to be in a box with a checklist and accomplish certain goals and or status to make it in the world. I cannot stress how abnormal my life has become to many of my friends. This living and working in LA as an art model, the hobbies or activities we are lucky to be a part of, the level of art and socializing are abundant to me. I am almost ashamed to say I lost track of counting those "oddities" as blessings and not curses.

I have had to come to terms with brutal honesty and clarity in the last few months. While it might have hurt initially, it was a gift. What it has done is make me really SEE MYSELF and APPRECIATE some of the things I was blind to before. Sometimes the path we must walk on is to push ourselves creatively and use the abilities and talents we are blessed with. I have had to come to terms with my fears and my weaknesses in order to move past it. It is humbling and amazing all in one.

I have never felt so empowered, yet so vulnerable. In the recent weeks I have been dealing with how to handle stress and disappointment with grace and awareness. Such as not seeing something come to fruition that might SEEM like a good idea to me, but not be the plan or the road to take. You cannot bend people or situations to your will. You simply get tired, worn out, and dismayed. I found a great freedom in surrender and being open to what the new course of action is.

I keep hearing about the "warrior" and the path of he. Who is he? This "warrior" and could I emulate him? I went on a quest to try to find the way. I have been reading books, taking in information, listening to people I admire and am inspired by and am amazed at how many OTHER doors have opened as a result. Being flexible is the key I think. I am certain as we develop awareness and flexibility, we will soon be better travelers down our individual roads. Once I got this, I wanted ACTION I wanted to jump into the role of achieving whole hearted-ly and not waste a single moment more. I realized that I am the person who has the power alone to CHANGE AND SHAPE ANYTHING I WISH. It was awesome to start to try to utilize this and see small results...then I went a bit is manifesting as we speak. I have a long way to go and have made (and will make) mistakes...but I am thrilled at the prospect of FINALLY having the desire to MOVE AND CHANGE AND FIGHT for what it is I believe in. If it is not the path I might think, I am better for the experience and a stronger warrior for the battle I undertook to achieve a certain goal.

My prayers are with my loved ones. I must keep them at arms length to maintain the serenity and order I NEED to move on this path I am discovering. It is hard to admit they are not there, nor do they have the desire or faculties to go there right now. Not to judge by any means, but it is time to move forward, to spring into action. Sometimes the journey is a lonely one, but if you keep your desire for renewal and change in acquiring your heart's desire close to your soul, anything is possible, and your wildest dreams just might come true.

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